The Fog And The Gray
by angiehodgins
Summary: A foggy being is responsible for the going on's of this story. Will Kathryn be able to over come a hurt and feel comfort in the presence of her best friend again?
1. Chapter 1

The shuttle shook so violently Kathryn Janeway found herself flung to the floor from her seat. Pushing up as quickly as she could she looked over to Chakotay, he was on the floor as well, though hovering over him was a large gray mass. Pushing herself forward Kathryn's eyes never left her first officer, her best friend… Out here… Her everything.

"Chakotay!" She cried. Her voice seemed to startle the gray mass as the form quivered before suddenly it disappeared into Chakotay's nose. Into his body, into his brain. Stopping her movement Kathryn pushed herself up from her crawling position. Her eyes were still locked on Chakotay, a breath held deeply in her chest.

When his eyes suddenly snapped open a startled cry tour from her throat as she fell backward. At first Chakotay didn't seem to be in control of his movements, as though he were only just learning to control himself. In only a moment he managed to gain his control, his head turning ever so slowly in her direction.

"Chakotay?" Questioned Kathryn she again found her balance.

"I'm fine," he said gruffly as he sat up.

Giving him a skeptical look Kathryn has stated only a moment before she gave a nod. Pushing to her feet she flung herself into the pilot's chair. Her mind wanted to pull her back to what that gray mass could've been, though she forced herself to concentrate on regaining control of the shuttle they were in.

It took her several minutes before she finally managed to straighten the shuttle. She heard Chakotay moving around behind her, claiming a piece of her consciousness. Sagging back in her seat she blew out a breath, "we are out of trouble… For the moment," she said, "what's the damage?"

"To what?" Questioned Chakotay, "the shuttle… Or you?"

Frowning Kathryn turned to question Chakotay's words, only to be yanked from her seat and flung to the floor by his strong hands. Turning to her back Kathryn scrambled away from the man looming over her. The kind, soulful look she should once found in Chakotay's eyes was gone, replaced by something dark, something that sent a chill down her spine. "What are you doing?" She questioned, "What are you?"

Rolling his shoulders Chakotay smiled, "Why captain, you did see me," he chided as though he were addressing a child, "As for what I'm doing… Well, you don't seem to be damaged enough for what we've just been through."

Pushing back all the more Kathryn's eyes widened when her back hit the bulkhead. She was trapped, nowhere to run, "Look, whatever you want, I'm the one that can get it for you. If I'm dead my people will never help you."

Chakotay gave a menacing laugh, "Kathryn, Kathryn, Kathryn. I never said anything about killing you." Not waiting for a response he reached out, taking hold of her hair had either side of her head. With one last smile he pulled her head forward before he pushed it back.

Her skull gave a satisfactory crack on contact. As he released her, he watched as her unconscious body fell limply to the floor. Turning to the helm he easily managed to cause more damage to the shuttle then had been. As a last touch he slammed his own head against the consol. Hissing in pain he gingerly touched the gash he'd open on his forehead, "Well that's inconvenient," he murmured before he caught sight of the great ship in front of him. "Commander Chakotay to Voyager," he called, "Beam the captain and myself directly to sickbay and tractor the shuttle in."

….

As Kathryn regained consciousness, her head felt as though someone were drilling spikes into it. "Captain?" She Heard the Doctor's voice calling out.

At this Kathryn opened her eyes to the harsh light of sickbay. "Chakotay…" She breathed. She had to tell them something had taken Chakotay over, that he was a danger to the crew.

"I'm right here," came Chakotay's voice from her other side.

Turning her head Kathryn wanted to cry out, but something in his look stopped her. As though he silently communicated to her 'try me.'

"Well," sighed the Doctor as he moved away, "I won't suggest any undue stress captain, though I can see no reason to keep you here."

Pushing up from the bio bed Kathryn nodded, "Thank you Doctor," she said as her feet touched the floor.

In only the blink of an eye Chakotay was at her side, one strong hand holding her upper arm in his grasp. "I'll make sure you get to your quarter safely," he said evenly, "You're not looking completely stable at the moment."

Kathryn's denial was cut short when the Doctor gave light smile, "That seems best," he agreed. Crossing the room he injected her with another hypo-spray, "Some pain reliever. If your headache persists, don't hesitate to come back to see me for more captain."

Kathryn didn't even get a chance to thank the Doctor before Chakotay was directing her out of sickbay. There was nothing she could do as he led her down the corridors. When they stopped in front of her quarters she gave him a skeptical look.

"Command entrance," insisted Chakotay as his grip tightened on her arm.

Kathryn was sure she'd bruise from his grasp, but she refused to show weakness, "Can't you, Cha-Ko-Tay?" She questioned, drawing out his name, "You know the code." Now Chakotay's fingers felt as though they'd break her bone. Giving a hiss Kathryn "Commanded entrance" and the door slid smoothly open.

Guiding Kathryn inside, he waited until the doors closed behind him before he turned. Taking her throat he pressed her back against the closed-door, raising her up until her toes barely touched the floor and she clawed at his hand. Leaning forward he gave breathy chuckle, "You don't seem to understand the enormity of what's taking place here." Releasing her he smiled as she crumpled to the floor gasping for breath.

Crouching down he attempted to brush a stray hair from her face only to have her jerk away from his hand. Snatching out, he managed a handful of her hair, "You will look at me!" He commanded as he jerked on her hair, making her look up to him.

"Just tell me what you want!" Insisted Kathryn as she looked up to a man so familiar, yet so utterly alien.

"Chakotay me or the real me?" He questioned thoughtfully, "Because I can tell you, what your Chakotay longs for involve oils and nakedness… Oh and you." At her shocked look he grinned, "Oh, I see you didn't know that. Why yes my dear captain, your second-in-command would like nothing better than to be with you, body, mind and soul, mostly body."

Clenching her teeth Kathryn glared at him, "What do you want?" She growled.

"Oh, you mean the real me," he chuckled, "This body is nice, I think I want this."

"You can't have it," hissed Kathryn, "Pick something else."

Letting out a roar he back handed Kathryn, her head jarring to the side, as he still held her hair in his hand. When she looked back up to him a line of blood ran down her chin, "How are you the leader of these people?" He spat in question, "Do you not see woman? I am already in possession of his body, how will you be rid of me now without harm coming to him?"

"How do I know he's not dead?" She questioned venomously.

"Oh, I assure you. He is very much alive… and very much aware!" His eyes gave a glint at his last words.

Spitting some blood Kathryn gave a weak smile, "Sorry if I don't believe you," she said calmly, "It's really hard to when you're holding my crewman hostage and are currently beating me."

He gave in other roar and Kathryn expected to be struck again, only this time he merely flung her a short distance from himself, "You are extremely frustrating woman!" He barked, "We'll just have to do something about that."

….

Kathryn Janeway's bloodcurdling scream was unmistakable when admitted from Lieutenant Commander Tuvok's comm badge. The entire bridge crew went silent as Tuvok and nodded to a couple of men before they exited the bridge. Leaving it in Ensign Harry Kim's confused hands.

….

The scream that tore from Kathryn's throat scared even her. Chakotay had been standing a few feet away before he suddenly spun and lunged at her. Raising her arms she had screamed before kicking and thrashing about under him.

He struggled with her for several minutes before he finally managed in her arms above her head. Straddling her waist he placed his feet over thighs. "Now I see why he enjoys you so. Such a small, fragile package, nothing more than wrapping for the smoldering fires to burn within."

Glaring Kathryn yanked at her arms, "Go to hell!" She spat.

This only earned her another backhand across her face. "I could do this all night captain," he said softly before his free hand raked along her body, pulling and twisting her flesh through her uniform.

Clenching her jaw Kathryn bucked her body against his with all of her might. This couldn't happen. Chakotay would never striker under any circumstances. She filled her mind with the knowledge that this wasn't the man she trusted; this was some unknown hostile alien.

Suddenly she felt one of his feet slip from her thigh. Without hesitation she acted upon the opportunity that had been given to her. Giving her hips a good thrust she managed to distance between them long enough to get a leg up. In an instant her knee collided with his groin.

Though instead of doubling over as she had thought he would Chakotay roared once more. Raising his free hand he clenched his fingers before bringing his fist down into her right rib cage. Not once, not twice, but multiple times, until it hurt Kathryn to even breathe.

….

Outside of the captain's quarters Tuvok and his team attempted to gain entry, only to be denied. Without a word from any of them they easily began to pry the doors open.

….

Kathryn knew some of her ribs had been cracked or broken before he had given up using her as a punching bag. Though she would have rather been punched them to fill Chakotay's hungry hand over her body, his wet lips on her neck and his hardened member pressed against her hips. Closing her eyes Kathryn set her jaw as she attempted to concentrate on ways to rid Chakotay of the alien instead of what the alien was making him do now.

Before she could form a completely conscious thought Chakotay's heavyweight was pulled from her body and she looked up to Tuvok Bringing her arms down Kathryn flinched at the pain in her right side. Shaking her head against Tuvok's questions she stood on semi-sturdy legs, "It can wait," she finally said, "I really should visit sickbay now."

Tuvok was silent as he nodded and escorted his captain to sickbay.

Once there Kathryn excepted help onto the bio bed as she watched the Doctor hovered over a prone form that was Chakotay. As she lay back the gray mass made its escape from its prone host. "Contain it!" Shouted Kathryn

In seconds the mass was enclosed in a containment field, ready to be transported to a more permanent container. Kathryn sighed as she eased some, in moments the doctor administered a sedative and she was blissfully unaware.

….

As her consciousness returned she was haunted by images of the ordeal she'd went through only hours before, eyes snapping open she gave a gasp when her view was filled by Chakotay standing over her. Her heart felt as though it were lodged in her throat.

Seeing the wild fear ignited in her eyes Chakotay hurriedly stepped away from her, "I'm sorry," he said quickly, "you were calling out. I only thought…" Sighing he looked to the floor, "I'm sorry."

Closing your eyes Kathryn regained herself some, "No," she finally muttered, "I'm sorry. I know it wasn't you, I saw the alien enter you."

"But I'm sorry for everything that was done to you," insisted Chakotay, "I was there to Kathryn and not being able to do anything to stop him… I failed you. I didn't protect you like I should have."

"There is nothing you could've done Chakotay," eased Kathryn, "I don't blame you."

"But you always tense in my presence. You'll jerk away from my touch and you'll never have that light in your eyes for me again," insisted Chakotay, "We'll never be us again," he finished on a sigh.

Taking the shaky breath Kathryn shook her head, "Not us," she insisted slowly, "we'll make it through, somehow."

Chakotay nodded, "But I won't sleep well until the thing is far away," he sighed.

….

The next day Kathryn gingerly held her ribs as she moved through her quarters. The bones were healed, but still tender. She'd only managed a mere 30 min. of sleep at a time the night before. It is taking longer to find peace, closure, or whatever the Doctor had been talking about. She'd only just awoken and she had yet to have even her coffee when the red alert was called. Stopping in the center of her main living area Kathryn spun when her door opened. "Oh Chakotay," she called tentatively, "You heard the alarm?"

When he didn't respond to her she began to back away from him, "Captain," erupted her comm badge, sitting on her desk several feet away, "The being has escaped containment."

Kathryn wanted to scream, 'I know, it's here!' Though she knew no one would hear her. Glancing around, she tried her luck with a sudden movement, darting toward her only communication device.

He smiled as he easily scooped her up from a full run. "Ah, she flees, very intriguing," he chided as he held her tightly against himself, "But captain, we should really finish what started earlier."

Feeling his intention against her lower back Kathryn took a sharp breath, "please," she finally managed in a quivering tone.

"Begging?" He questioned as he ran a hand down her silken clad body, "This mind does not remember Kathryn Janeway ever begging."

"Well that mind," hissed Kathryn, "Knows I've never been in this situation."

At this he chuckled, "This might insist it will never happen again. He's very willful." Reaching her mid-thigh he began to pull up the slip like nightgown she wore.

Her breath caught, this couldn't happen. But he held her arms tightly against her chest. As a thought crossed her mind she acted as she released her breath, her head pulling forward before slamming back into his nose. He roared as he released her, allowing her to stumble a few steps away from him.

"You stupid, worthless female!" He cried as blood flowed down his chin, "You will pay!"

As he charged Kathryn turned and fled like the terrified rabbit. She moved past her table and around, doubling back toward the door, though he was faster.

Growling he reached out when he was close enough and managed a handful of her hair. The jerk sent her feet flying out from under her, sending her sprawling to the floor. In seconds he was on top of her, one hand on her throat, the other pulling off her underwear.


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn's body had long since healed from your ordeal she had withstood. But her mind still denied everything. It had been bad, Chakotay being overtaken by the alien, the beatings he'd put her through, though it was the rape that had her locked with full security in her quarters.

It was nearly 2 months since her torment and she could still not find the strength to leave her safety place. The attacks had happened here, though now it was locked down with codes only she as the captain could disengage. The ever familiar hum of the doctor appearing in her quarters had become as close to a comfort as she had in her grasp for the moment, "I'm eating, see?" She said instantly, without looking up.

Looking to the sandwich next is captain the Doctor sighed at the small nibbles that had been taken from it. Shifting his gaze he looked at her, she was thinner than he'd ever seen her, her eyes seeming to sink into her skull, "It doesn't take away from the fact that you still look extremely ill," he finally sighed.

Looking up Kathryn blew out a breath, "I'm trying," she said, "it's harder than it looks."

"You know the creature has been destroyed, it can't hurt you," eased the Doctor as he sat next to her.

Shaking her head Kathryn sighed, "That doesn't take away from the fact that it… Did what it did, using Chakotay's body."

The Doctor nodded, "That makes what I have to tell you that even harder," he said softly, "Captain… Somehow this is beyond my knowledge, but… You're pregnant. The DNA tells me the child is commander Chakotay's."

Kathryn the silent for a long time, her breathing the only sound she made. The Doctor thought for a moment that she went into some type of catatonic state. Then suddenly she flew up from her seat, disappearing into her bathroom. In seconds he could hear her emptying what little she had in her stomach into the toilet.

She wasn't taking this news very well at all.

By the time Kathryn managed to regain herself enough to venture away from the toilet she felt 10 times worse than she had before. Returning to the main living area Kathryn heaved a deep sigh. "I'm sorry Doctor," she apologized as she sat down next to him.

"No need captain, I understand," eased the Doctor, "This has come as a shock to you."

"That's an understatement," muttered Kathryn, "Though I don't see how this could have happened. You make sure every crewman is up to date on their birth control. I only just had mine six months ago."

"They are in my puzzle lies," breathed the Doctor, "My record show both you and the commander to be up-to-date on all vaccinations implemented in Starfleet protocol."

Shaking her head slowly Kathryn was quiet for a long time, finally she took a small breath, "You're sure?" She asked.

"Quite," answered the Doctor without hesitation, "I checked and re-checked several times. In each case I received the same results."

Placing her head in her hands Kathryn closed her eyes, "Now what?" She breathed.

….

Pacing his quarters once more Chakotay feared he'd wear a line in the carpet. Though for the last two months he had nothing more productive to do with his downtime. Normally he contact Kathryn, plan a dinner or maybe an excursion to the holo-deck. But since she'd awoken in sickbay, after everything that happened to her, her reaction had caused him to flee. He didn't want her to be uncomfortable or even scared of him. He just didn't know how to take back what happened.

Every night he awoke in a cold sweat, images of what he'd… The alien had done to Kathryn making him shake. He wasn't a violent man and only used his strength to protect. But he knew, that's now in Kathryn's mind with the same images that woke him in the night. Ringing his hands together he stopped and shook his head, "I can't take this," he murmured, "Two months is too much." With that he exited his quarters and turned toward Kathryn's next-door. Not thinking clearly he nearly collided with someone, "Oh, sorry," he murmured in apology. Glancing down his breath caught, it was Kathryn he held.

She couldn't help the breath of relief that escaped her as he released her and stepped back, "My fault really," she said softly, "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Neither was I," admitted Chakotay, "I was actually just coming to see you."

This more than surprised Kathryn, "Well… I was coming to see you," she said a bit tentatively, "If you wouldn't mind using your quarters for, whatever we need to say."

Chakotay caught the flash Kathryn's eyes when she suggested his quarters, hers were… tainted. With a nod he turned and opened his door, motioning her inside first. Stepping in behind her he noticed her wince when the door closed.

Needing to have distance between them Kathryn moved purposefully across the room, "How have you been?" She questioned. She had to keep this as normal as possible, for sanities sake at least.

"Me?" asked Chakotay, "I don't matter. Kathryn, how are you?"

Leaving out one breathy laugh as she turned, her eyes locked on his, "Me?" She asked, mimicking him, "I'm pregnant." And there it was that light that had been void from his eyes under the aliens influence.

"You're sure?" He asked, sounding a bit doubtful.

"Positive," answered Kathryn.

"How?" The question left his lips before he had a chance to think. The darkening of Kathryn's eyes told him it was wrong, "I mean, we're both up to date… right?" He tried to amend.

Taking a deep steadying breath Kathryn nodded, "The Doctor admits to being baffled," she said softly, a bit of amusement creeping into her voice at the thought of the holographic man.

"There's a first time for everything," said Chakotay, "Would you like something to drink? Tea maybe?"

"No," denied Kathryn with a shake of her head, "I'm fine. I really should check in with Tuvok why I'm out."

She moved toward the door Chakotay found he didn't want her to go, "You can always check in by comm." He suggested, causing Kathryn to look back at him.

He looked confused and a bit lost though one drowning person could never save another. Shaking her head she sighed, "It's good for me to get out." With that she was gone.

….

The days began to pass with Chakotay unable to get Kathryn alone for more than a couple of minutes at a time. He could tell she was still distancing herself from him and saddened him, though you could blame her and he was a happy, overjoyed even that she would talk to him again.

On this particular day he was seated in the mess having lunch when she walked in. She still looked thin, though now she had bags under her eyes contrasting with her paler the normal skin.

As she walked across the mess and accepted the offered tray of what looked to be a ham sandwich from Neelix. When she sat and devoured the sandwich faster then he'd ever seen her consume anything, even coffee. Smiling lightly he rose and moved toward the counter. "Hey Neelix," he called.

Looking up the cheerful Talaxian smiled brightly, "Oh, commander. How was your lunch?" He questioned.

"Very good," answered Chakotay good heartedly, "Do you still have that strawberry shortcake I asked you to hold?"

Neelix nearly beamed, "Oh, you're finally ready to enjoy it!" He exclaimed as he retrieved the treat.

"Actually, Kathryn looks as though she could use the extra calories," corrected Chakotay as he took the dish.

Neelix only smiled and winked as Chakotay turned. The entire crew already knew that their captain was expecting their commander's child.

As someone came up next to her Kathryn looked up, her eyes falling upon Chakotay. "Good afternoon," she greeted admirably.

"Afternoon," replied Chakotay. Holding the dish out he smiled, "You look like you could use some dessert," he said simply.

Kathryn eyes lit up, "I thought Neelix said there was only enough for one serving per crewman?" She questioned.

"True," conceded Chakotay, "I had him save mine. You look as though you could use a closer to that meal."

"I couldn't take yours," insisted Kathryn, still looking longingly at the dish held out to her.

"I insist," said Chakotay as he sat the dish down in front of her, "I'm only one, you're two now." With that he handed her a spoon.

The look in his eyes told Kathryn that it was useless to argue. Taking the spoon she motioned to the chair across from her, "Care to join me?"

Taking the seat Chakotay sighed, "Don't mind if I do." Watching Kathryn he couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips at the look on her face when she took her first bite of the desert.

"MMM, that's good, "crooned Kathryn. She wasn't sure how he could give up such a wonderful dessert. Holding out a spoonful she eyed him, "have a bite," she said simply.

Hesitating only a moment Chakotay accepted the bite. Smiling appreciatively he swallowed as Kathryn took another bite, "You're right," he finally said once his mouth was empty, "That is good."

Kathryn only nodded in response and in minutes she had cleared the dish of every last morsel. "Maybe I was hungrier than I had thought," she sighed contentedly as she sat back.

"It sure looks that way," chuckled Chakotay.

From a moment they were both silent before Kathryn took a slow breath, "Well," she said softly, "thank you for the desert. I've got to get back to work."

Before Chakotay could say anything she was up and gone, leaving him to stare after, "That does seem promising," Neelix's bright voice broke the silence.

"What?" Questioned Chakotay looking up.

"The captain seems to fare better in your presence than before," explained Neelix.

Sighing Chakotay nodded, "There is that," he said, "But it's still nothing compared to normal."

At this Neelix frowned, "Normal? What is normal here?" He questioned, "Every other day something happens that changes my prescription of normal."

"To right," agreed Chakotay, "let's say then, that I long for it to be as it once was."

"Now that I do understand," exclaimed Neelix, "good luck to you commander." With that he lifted Kathryn's empty tray and hurried back to his galley.

….

The weeks passed slowly, Kathryn ever vigilant in her distance from Chakotay. The 27 weeks into her pregnancy she had more than enough to deal with in the changes that were happening to her body, topped with the nightmares the still plagued her nights. She just couldn't bring herself to be near him and for that she cursed her fear.

Lying in her bed in the early morning Kathryn had tossed aside her blankets, her hands resting on her lower abdomen. The firm bump there was unmistakable and it scared her beyond words. Feeling the moistness of tears running down her face she sniffled. She just wanted everything to be normal again, she wanted to fill like herself and to fill safe with her best friend. No matter how fate tore her world apart, this had to be the hardest for her.

Her thoughts and self-pitying were cut short when the ship gave a violent shake. Shooting up from her bed Kathryn was halfway just before her comm badge came to life, "Bridge to captain Janeway," called out Tuvok.

"Janeway here," called Kathryn as she struggled into her turtleneck, "What's going on Tuvok?"

"We're under attack by an unknown race," explained Tuvok simply.

Swinging on her jacket Kathryn snatched up her comm badge as she headed for the door. "I'm on my way," she said simply before she closed the connection. By the time she made it to the bridge to ship had been wracked with several explosions. "Report!" She called as she entered.

"Shields are down to 35%, we have breaches on decks nine through 12," reported Harry Kim from ops.

"Engines are off-line," added Tom Paris at the helm.

Turning to Tuvok Kathryn was on the verge of requesting the release of several proton torpedoes before the Vulcan suddenly looked surprised, "Captain, several vessels have dropped from warp and are at present attacking hostile vessels," he reported.

In what seemed like only a matter of moments the unknown vessels had driven off the hostiles. "Well that was nice of them," commented Tom sarcastically.

"We're being hailed," reported Tuvok.

"On-screen," ordered Kathryn as she moved the center of the bridge.

As the image of the rather furry alien appeared on screen the bridge crew became silent, "you are well I hope," the alien almost seemed to purr.

"Yes, thank you for coming to our aid," responded Kathryn, "I am Captain Kathryn Janeway and this is the Federation starship Voyager."

"I am Barcoo of the Treydi," introduced the fuzzy alien, "our scans show you to be in great need of repair. We would like to offer further assistance to you."

"That would be greatly appreciated," accepted Kathryn, "though our ship is too damaged to move."

"That is no worry," assured Barcoo, "our planet is not far, you may take one of your smaller ships. We would offer you a ride, though our ships are quite full."

"That is gracious of you Barcoo, I will send my first officer and ambassador," said Kathryn, sending a quick glance to Chakotay behind her.

At this Barcoo frowned, "I'm sorry Captain, but our leader will not deal with anyone less than a leader themselves."

"I see," murmured Kathryn, "then I guess I'll the following you."

As the screen flashed to black Chakotay stood, "you're not going alone," he insisted.

"Of course not," dismissed Kathryn as she turned, "I'll be taking Tuvok with me."

Stepping around his consul Tuvok held his stomach, "I believe you'll need to take the commander," he said simply as he moved his hands, revealing a bloody wound.

As Tuvok dropped to the floor Kathryn hurried to the side. Dropping to her knees she pushed her oldest friend onto his back, "someone get a med kit!" She cried, her hands instinctively covering the bleeding wound. "Why didn't you say something?" She questioned.

"It all happened so fast," responded Tuvok as calmly as ever.

"Do we have transporters?!" Snapped Chakotay as he dropped down next to Kathryn.

"Yes, but only enough power in them for one, "responded Harry.

"Chakotay to sickbay."

"Sickbay here, I'm a little busy commander," responded the Doctor a bit impatiently.

"Well, be ready for one more. We're beaming Tuvok to you. He's in bad shape," said Chakotay on a growl. With that he nodded to Harry and Tuvok disappeared.

"Captain," called Tom hesitantly, "the aliens don't seem to be a patient race. They look like they're ready to go now."

Nodding mutely Kathryn stood and stepped into the turbo lift, Chakotay right behind her. She had a job to do. Her whole crew counted on her, not just those she'd known the longest. She had to go.

….

As they flew behind the single alien ship toward their planet Chakotay couldn't stop looking to Kathryn. Since they'd left Voyager she hadn't said one word. Opening his mouth he was about to break the silence when his consul gave a beep, "it looks like the alien ships behind us are heading in different directions."

Kathryn had noticed, though being as close to the planet as they were she wasn't very worried for their safety, "I'm sure they have better things to do than to escort us," she dismissed.

Chakotay looked to her skeptically, before looking back to his consul. He could clearly make out the two ships leaving though something caught his attention and it was coming up fast.

Before he had a chance to comment on the incoming vessel the shuttle lurched and rocked. "Starboard nacelle is off-line," shouted Kathryn over the deafening alarms.

"Returning fire!" Called Chakotay, managing a few shots the shuttle rocked again before they began to spin out of control

"I have no control!" Shouted Kathryn, panic clear in her voice, "We're caught in the planet's gravity. We're going down!"

The words left her only an instant before is the shuttle collided with the top of a rock formation. Chakotay flew across the shuttle as Kathryn was flung from her seat, quickly becoming wedged under the front consul.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know Kathryn seems softer than the Captain we all know and love, but I am taking some liberty here. She was hurt by someone she never thought would hurt her and now she's pregnant, full of hormones letting loose emotions she would normally be able to control. So please hang in there with me!

….

The motionless shuttle creaked and sparks flew from the damage systems. Opening her eyes Kathryn looked across the shuttle. Lying not far from her was Chakotay; no gray mass hovered over him, though the fact did nothing to relieve the panic that welled up inside of her.

As Chakotay regained consciousness he groaned against the pain all over his body. His mind was fuzzy, though in a flash he remembered he was alone. Opening his eyes he sat up and quickly scanned the shuttle. Only feet from him a small form was balled up under the front console. Struggling to his knees he hurried forward, "Kathryn?" He called as he reached out.

When his fingers made contact with her shoulder Kathryn jerked away with a startled cry, "please don't," she breathed.

Pulling his hand back Chakotay made no other moved to distance himself from her, "I'm not a danger to you," he eased, "Kathryn, I just want to make sure you're all right."

"I'm fine," he heard her mumble.

Setting his jaw he took a deep breath, "Captain Kathryn Janeway. You will come out from under their. You'll do your crew no good if you give up because you're scared," he ordered in his best authoritative tone.

This caught the attention of the Captain, looking up she eyed the man in front of her, "I outrank you," she said simply.

"That may be so," relented Chakotay, "but under the circumstances it's in both our interests to get out of this in one piece. If only because, if I go back without you I'm pretty sure it's the crew would mutiny."

Taking in his words Kathryn sighed, "Move back," she finally commanded.

Doing so Chakotay watched as she shifted her body. One hand covering her small bump of a belly she carefully slid out from under the console. Once she was clear he frowned, "you're bleeding," he said simply as he reached for the med kit.

Looking to her shoulder Kathryn noted the fabric was torn and her skin looked burned, "it doesn't hurt," she said simply.

"Now," corrected Chakotay as he ran a dermal regenerator over the area. Once it was healed enough he ran a tricorder along her entire body, "other than that, you're fine," he murmured thoughtfully, "looks like little one road it out nicely as well."

"Can't take a Janeway down that easily…" Letting her words trail off her blue eyes locked with his brown. For a long, breathless moment she couldn't bring herself to look away. It was almost as though they were back to normal, she was dismissing injuries as he watched her, eyes full of worry, "really, I'm fine," she said softly.

Giving a nod Chakotay stood, "we'd better at least find a way to get some help, we don't even know if this is the Treydi's home planet," he said. Holding out a hand he held his breath until Kathryn smaller hand finally slid into his. Pulling her to her feet he sighed, "I'll get the hatch open."

Kathryn only nodded as she moved about the cabin, collecting what they may need. By the time the hatch opened she had a heavy backpack ready and was attempting to put it on.

Turning back to her Chakotay gave his head a shake before closing the distance between them, easily plucking the pack from her grasp. Sliding onto his own back he caught her glare, "I insist," he said simply before he turned and exited the shuttle.

Frowning Kathryn laid a hand on her stomach before following, "I'm not incapable you know," she complained, "I'm only pregnant. Females have been doing it for eons."

"Not so many insist on caring extremely heavy things," countered Chakotay.

"On the contrary," began Kathryn. Her words that were cut short when the ground gave a great shake beneath her feet. She would've been pitched to the dirt if Chakotay's strong arms hadn't wrapped around her out of nowhere.

"How about less complaining," he said gruffly, "and a little more concentrating?" In her glare Chakotay abruptly released her, taking a half step back, "sorry."

Heaving a sigh Kathryn pursed her lips. She was angry, angry that she was weaker than usual, angry that her fear of the one man she knew would always protect her still held on. She was simply angry with the whole situation, "no," she finally sighed, "I'm sorry."

Taken aback some by her sudden apology Chakotay could only stare at her for a long while. He had been hoping she would become more like old self around him, though he never expected her to become… soft. "It's all right," he finally said, "we'd better get moving before and we don't have enough light to navigate by."

….

"What do you mean you don't know where our Captain and Commander are?" questioned Tom Paris as he faced the large-screen.

Barcoo looked unsure, "we were attacked near our sister planet," he explained, "They waited until we had separated from our armed escort before firing the small shift down. We are at present searching for them but have come to pull you back to our home where you'll be safe."

B'Elanna huffed, "so these big teddy bears let the shuttle go down and they don't think we'll want to help find the Captain and Chakotay?"

"We understand you need for your leaders safety. Though we assure you, we are searching diligently," Barcoo tried to ease.

"We understand and appreciate that, sir," called out Neelix, "we thank you for all you have done and are doing."

As the screen went black Tuvok blinked, "I believe it is in our best interests to do what must to fix Voyager in order to be the most help to the captain and commander."

With that said everyone nodded before they all headed off to continue their repairs.

….

They had been walking for hours. Kathryn lagged behind Chakotay as her breathing became struggled, her legs began to cramp and her head went fuzzy. The Doctor had warned her of the things that would change with her body each week her pregnancy preceded. In the back of her head she knew that her leg cramps were a warning of dehydration.

Attempting to straighten her shoulders Kathryn gave a cry when her simple leg cramp turned into a sharp shooting pain. Losing her balance she stumbled, her sides colliding with the cliff they walked next to.

Turning back at Kathryn's cry Chakotay's heart lurched as he watched her stumble into the rock face next to them. Moving back to her side he took her upper arms in his hand steady her, "I think we need to stop," he said evenly.

At this Kathryn shook her head, "no, if we do will never make it anywhere before nightfall," she sighed.

"And if we continue, were risking your health. That's not something I'm willing to do," insisted Chakotay.

Not one to be told what to do Kathryn shrugged from Chakotay's grasp, "Well, maybe I am," she huffed. Marching off she only made it a few steps before her knees gave out and she found herself rushing down to meet the ground.

Reaching out Chakotay deftly caught Kathryn, a grim look on his face, "we're stopping," he said simply before he swept her into his arms.

Kathryn wanted to protest, to fight against his hold on her. Though her body defied her remaining rather limp in his arms. "Only a few minutes," she relented.

Shaking his head Chakotay moved toward an outcropping in the rock, "more like all night," he corrected. At Kathryn's glare he sat her down, "we'll make until then, if you can make it from here…" Fading off he spotted a rather large boulder 50 yards away, "… To that boulder, then we'll move on whenever the mood strikes you."

Looking from the boulder to Chakotay Kathryn gave him another glare, "what if I got up and did it now?" She challenged.

Sitting down Chakotay shrugged, "I'll be here ready to catch you," he said simply.

At this Kathryn ground her teeth, he knew her to well. She knew just as well as he did that she couldn't manage two steps without trouble. But the way he was simply shrugging her insistence off was pissing her off. Taking a deep breath Kathryn began to push herself up.

Frowning Chakotay gave a sigh as Kathryn began to move, "what are you doing?" He questioned.

"Walking to that boulder," answered Kathryn without hesitation, "once I'm there, feel free to join me."

Shaking his head Chakotay stood and crossed to her as she used the wall for leverage, "you're only going to succeed in hurting yourself," he pointed out. When she ignored him he sighed, "You'll hurt the baby."

Stopping completely Kathryn's breath caught. He was right; if she hurt herself she risked hurting the baby as well. As she made up her mind to stay she also seemed to think of something else before she turned a glare to Chakotay, "never try to use this child against me," she hissed out, a hand protectively covering her swelled abdomen.

"I wasn't and would never threaten that child," replied Chakotay, trying to remain calm, "you forget that child is mine as well?"

Kathryn's glare hardened, "how can I forget?" She spat, "I wish I could."

Instantly Chakotay's eyes softened "I was there to," he said simply, "I tried… So hard to get some control, any control. But I was helpless. Kathryn… You weren't the only one hurt, though you're the only one that matters."

Kathryn's breath caught once more as her anger died, "no," she sighed, "I don't matter as much anymore."

Chakotay's objections were on the tip of his lips before Kathryn sank down the wall, both hands now cradling her stomach. "For me you're both even in the importance area," he said softly.

Looking up Kathryn gave light not; she had nothing more to say, though she let him know the statement was appreciated. When he handed her a bottle of water she accepted mutely, drinking greedily. Soon she began to feel better, her hand touching her stomach lightly where her child was very active against her stretched skin.

Watching Kathryn Chakotay could almost swear he could see the movement beneath her extremely taunt command jacket. "Can you… Feel the baby move?" He questioned out of nowhere.

Looking up the moment Kathryn blinked at him before nodding. Motioning silently she beckoned him to her side; he looked confused as he did so and frowned silently when she took his hand. Placing it to her stomach she knew he could fill the movement going on inside.

His hand on her firm abdomen, his breath caught when there was a movement under his palm. He'd seen plenty of pregnant ladies, though he'd never touched one's stomach, nor were any of the children his. Looking up his eyes locked on hers and he took a slow breath, "That's… That's the baby?" He asked breathily.

Kathryn nodded, "before bed aerobics," she said softly.

Going silent Chakotay pulled his hand back, his eyes never leaving hers, "I wish it was still like this," he finally breathed, "Like it was before."

"Six months five days, 27 weeks, 189 days, 4536…" began Kathryn slowly.

"You haven't thought about it either?" questioned Chakotay, a twinge of humor in his voice.

"Only once or twice," shrugged off Kathryn.

Smiling some Chakotay nodded, "I'm sure," he said rather sarcastically, "me too then."

Completely silent Kathryn smiled to the man she had re-found, it seemed so easy to entrust in him as always. As her eyes went dreamy she found herself on autopilot as she shimmied a little closer to him. If given the choice of the beast outside or the beasts inside, she would always choose the one that was inside.

….

"Five days? Are you serious?" growled B'Elanna, "How can we even claim we've been trying?"

"It's actually only been four and a half," corrected Harry from Ops.

"Of shove it Starfleet!" snapped B'Elanna.

"Hey!" called out Tom from the conn, "Let's stop fighting and start looking. We're here."

Instantly Harry's hands flew over his panel, "I've found their crash site," he reported, "Though their comm signals are reading nearly three days journey away from it."

Nodding B'Elanna began to move, "I need two guys with me," she said over her shoulder. Without a work Harry and Tom fell into step behind her.

….

It had been five days sense they had crashed and in three days of walking all they had found was an abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere. Kathryn had declared that she simply could go no further, so they had opted to make the shack their home base. At least there was a leak free roof over their heads and shelter from the elements provided by the walls.

Chakotay had spent his time making sure Kathryn had food water and fire, while Kathryn spent her time trying to boost their comm signals. Though as the fifth day drug on Kathryn laid her work aside and leaned back, rising her arms she began to rub her forehead. Over the last several hours during her work a headache had been steadily increasing in power behind her eyes, now she just couldn't allow it any longer.

As a light moan escaped Kathryn's lips Chakotay turned in her direction, "Are you alright?" he questioned.

Opening her eyes Kathryn looked in Chakotay's direction, "Just a headache," she responded, "Nothing that isn't normal."

"A message might help," he offered as he stood.

"I think I'll pass," sighed Kathryn.

"Are you…" his words were cut short as the sound of a stick breaking outside caught his attention. Sense they had arrived on this planet they had noticed no other living creature, not even fish in the water mass they had found. As he waited to see what was moving Chakotay frowned, did he hear… voices?

….

It had gotten dark faster than they had expected and wandering in the dark was not what any of them had planned. "You push me one more time and I swear," growled B'Elanna.

"Well if you would just hurry up," snipped Tom from behind her.

Stopping B'Elanna spun and faced Tom, nearly making her run into her, "You want to take point?" she questioned.

"Hey," called Harry as he gazed at the tricorder in his hand.

"I think I will," challenged Tom.

"Go right ahead," hissed B'Elanna.

"Hey! Guy!" shouted Harry, finally getting his companions attentions.

Turning Tom and B'Elanna glared, "What?" they questioned in unison.

Pointing to their left Harry indicated a derelict shack, "I'm getting two life signs from in there," he said.

Turning B'Elanna and Tom headed toward the shack, "I smell fire," whispered Tom.

"I see light," added B'Elanna sarcastically with a glare in Tom's direction.

Rolling his eyes Tom narrowly missed having his head taken off by a large piece of wood wielded by Chakotay. "Hey, hey, hey!" shouted Tom, "I give, I give, you win!"

Dropping his arms Chakotay couldn't believe his eyes when he saw To, B'Elanna and Harry enter the shack. "It's about time," he grumped.

Sitting up Kathryn gave her sore tired eyes a rub, "You fixed Voyager?" she asked.

"Enough to get here," replied B'Elanna as she crossed the room to help her captain up from the floor, "Why don't we all go home?"

Nodding mutely Kathryn followed B'Elanna out of the shack. It all felt like a dream until the familiar tingle of the transporters surrounded her. It was real they were going home.


	4. Chapter 4

Life was normal, as normal as it could be on a starship years away from home. Being stranded on the uninhabited planet had seen Kathryn trying to re-connect with her best friend, though it had been so much harder then she had ever thought. Every time he had touched her she had expected him to hurt her and she knew that was irrational, though it was becoming harder for her to rationalize her emotions. At thirty-five weeks they were so off balance that at times she scared herself.

"Bridge to Janeway," called a voice from her comm badge.

"Janeway here, what is it?" she questioned as she carefully pushed up from her seat in her favorite chair.

"We're picking up some disturbing readings from ahead of us. I think you should come to the bridge."

"On my way," she called as she made for her door. As she made it to the bridge her eyes went directly to the front view screen and what she saw there had her chest tightening "Is that…" she began to ask slowly.

"The mass ahead of us is emitting the same energy as the…"

"Fog that took over Chakotay," finished Kathryn, "Can we go around it?"

"That is not possible," responded Tuvok, "It seems to be moving. Each time we have tried to change course the mass moves back into our path."

Taking a slow breath Kathryn couldn't pull her gaze from the foggy mass ahead of them, "All stop," she called out finally.

"Ma'am?" questioned Tom as he turned to look to his captain.

"Whatever reason that fog has for wanting us to go through it… it can't be good," explained Kathryn, "I said all stop Mr. Paris."

"Aye captain," agreed Tom as he turned back and brought the ship to a complete stop.

Entering the bridge Chakotay came to a stop next to Kathryn, his eyes locked on the front view screen, "Is that fog… in space?" he questioned.

At the sound of his voice next to her Kathryn jumped, she had been so engrossed in what she had been seeing that she hadn't heard him. Looking up to him her mind gave a flash and she suddenly saw a foggy mass hanging over him, "No," she gasped as she moved away from him, "This isn't happening again!"

"Kathryn?" he questioned as he moved toward her, "What is it?" stepping forward he reached for her only to have her give a startled cry as she jerked away from him.

"No!" cried Kathryn, her feet stumbling under her, "This can't happen again!"

"Chakotay!" barked out B'Elanna as she placed herself between her commanding officers, "Stop!"

Shoulders slumping Chakotay looked over B'Elanna's shoulder to where Tom stood, Kathryn now clinging to the embrace he'd wrapped her up in, "I just want to…" he began.

"Do you see that?" questioned B'Elanna as she pointed to the fog, "That appears to be the same thing that took over you when… You just need to keep your distance for now."

Looking back to the fog Chakotay frowned, "But didn't you destroy it?" he questioned.

"We did," responded B'Elanna, "Apparently it wasn't the only one."

"Well what are we waiting for?" demanded Chakotay, "Full spread torpedoes, blow it up…"

"It is not that simple," spoke up Tuvok, "This mass has far more energy than the one we encountered before. Firing weapons at will by all means will simply aggravate it."

Sending a look to Kathryn Chakotay felt his anger flare at the sight of her fear, "What can we do then?" he questioned.

"I think a meeting of senior officers is in order," spoke up B'Elanna, "To, take the captain to sickbay, see if…"

"No," said Kathryn, "I'm fine. We need to figure out a way to get through this."

Turning to her B'Elanna sighed, "This stress isn't good for you," she said. At the look in her captain's eyes she held up her hands, "We won't start the meeting without you," she assured.

Mutely Kathryn finally gave a nod before she allowed Tom to lead her from the bridge. Once she was gone Chakotay moved closer to the view screen, "Tell me everything we know about that fog," he ordered.

In sickbay Kathryn withstood the Doctor's scans as Tom hovered. Once she was finally cleared to attend the meeting she hurried Tom into the hall, the faster she got to the meeting the faster they could get out of this situation.

As they moved down the hall the red alert klaxons began to strobe, making Kathryn stop, "Janeway to the bridge," she called, "What's going on?"

"Several pieces of the fog have broken away from the large mass and are moving in our direction," replied Tuvok quickly.

"Shields up, keep them…" fading off Kathryn's eyes went wide. There, hovering just in front of Tom and her was a foggy mass. It was still for a very long moment, simply there.

"Captain?" erupted Tuvok's voice from her comm badge.

The sudden noise seemed to startle the fog as it gave a quiver before it shot directly for Tom. "There's one here," spoke up Kathryn, turning she was just in time to see the fog enter Tom, "I need help!"

As the words left her mouth Tom suddenly reached out, snatching her comm from her chest he threw it to the floor before he took hold of the back of her neck. She couldn't conjure a single noise as she was lead down the hall.

Hearing Kathryn say she needed help had Chakotay's head snapping up, "Where is she?" he questioned.

"Not far from sickbay," answered Harry.

In the blink of an eye Chakotay was moving. Making it to where Harry had said she was he fought his urge to scream as he picked up her comm badge from the floor. "I found her comm badge. Harry track her biometric reading," he ordered.

"Tracking now," responded Harry before there was a pause, "She's moving. It looks like she's headed for the shuttle bay and she's with Tom."

Without responding Chakotay took off.

As Tom drug her through the shuttle bay doors Kathryn found some fight buried inside of her. Grasping the hand that held her she dug her nails in before jerking free of the loosened hold. As she spun to flee she gasped as her hair was pulled, stopping her momentum.

Unspeaking Tom pulled her until her back collided with his chest; he then wrapped an arm around her throat. As she attempted to struggle from his grasp he tightened his hold, he struggled breath the only sound. Once her fight weakened he loosened his hold and led them toward the Delta flyer.

Bursting into the shuttle bay Chakotay caught a glimpse of Tom's back before he disappeared completely into the Delta flyer. Slapping his comm badge he moved forward, "Chakotay to bridge, lock down the shuttle bay. Nothing gets out!" he ordered.

Making it to the Delta flyer he climbed in, turning to the cock pit his breath caught. Standing there facing him Tom held Kathryn in front of himself as he held a phazer against her stomach. "Tom… What are you doing?" questioned Chakotay faintly.

"He's not Tom," breathed Kathryn shakily. Staring ahead of her she could see fear in Chakotay's eyes and it gave her hope that he was still him; as long as he was there was still a chance.

Looking from Kathryn back to Tom Chakotay took a slow breath, "Who are you?" he asked.

At this Tom tilted his head, "I am sure you saw us… We made you stop your ship," he said.

"You're the fog," said Chakotay simply, "What do you want?"

"My brother," responded Tom. At Chakotay's frown Tom's eyes hardened, "He is here… on this ship. Do not lie to me! I can feel him!"

"He was here," replied Chakotay carefully, "But not now, he left."

"You do not know my brother well," scoffed Tom.

"I know him better than I would like," hissed Chakotay.

Tom seemed to think over Chakotay's words, "That may be. You will take me to him now," he finally said. When Chakotay shook his head Tom tightened his grip, making Kathryn give a startled cry, "You will do it or I will kill her."

"You must ensure my ship can pass…" Chakotay tried to deal.

"No," spat Tom, "He is not ahead of us, he is here."

"Alright," conceded Chakotay, "I'll take you to him." Turning he could hear Tom following. With very small movements he activated his comm badge.

As her comm badge came to life B'Elanna frowned until she heard Chakotay's voice, "…Once I take you to him you will let us leave in peace?"

"If he sees fit," responded Tom.

Muting her end of the connection B'Elanna turned to Tuvok, "It sounds like Tom is being controlled," she said.

"By the Fog?" questioned Harry.

"At least a piece of it," responded B'Elanna, "And if I'm thinking right… it's looking for the fog we destroyed before."

"But the commander said he was taking him to… him," said Harry, "How can he if we destroyed it?"

"I believe the commander is buying us some time," spoke up Tuvok, "We must prepare the weapon we used to destroy the first creature."

"It's in the weapons locker in engineering," said B'Elanna as she turned toward her bridge console, "I'm going to attempt to re-calibrate the ships phazer's. We're going to need them to get through that fog wall ahead of us."

Tuvok only nodded as he and several other security personnel exited the bridge.

As they walked Kathryn hoped Chakotay knew what he was doing. When she realized he was leading them to the last place the previous fog had been she knew what he was doing, he was taking him to the place the feeling of his brother would be the strongest. "We can't do this," she said as she locked her eyes on Chakotay's hands at his sides.

"We have to," replied Chakotay as he stopped at the door he sought. With his left hand he used a form of silent Starfleet communication to tell Kathryn what he had planned. He only hoped she was watching.

As the door slid open Chakotay stepped inside and off to the right, "Over there," he said, pointing to the left.

Guided into the small storage room Kathryn's eyes locked with Chakotay's only a moment before she reached up, taking hold of Tom's hand holding the phazer. Pushing it up and away from herself she wasn't prepared when Chakotay suddenly slammed his body into Tom's, the momentum knocking her to the ground.

Landing atop Tom Chakotay struggled to pull him away from Kathryn. He'd planned on her not being pulled down with them and his mind flashed to worry before he pressed it back. He had to get them out of this alive then he could worry all he wanted. As he managed to get Tom away from Kathryn he reared up, striking the younger man in the jaw, trying with everything he had to knock him out.

Once Chakotay managed to pull Tom from her Kathryn scrambled to her hands and knees. Turning back she was in time to see Tom rear up, smacking his head into Chakotay's. As Chakotay fell back she moved, reaching out she grasped Tom's hand holding the phazer, pulling it back before he could take aim. Tom roared as he jerked back on his arm, managing to break Kathryn's hold, sending her back to the floor.

Blinking back his pain Chakotay sat up, his sight straightening as he watched Tom point the phazer toward Kathryn as she struggled to pull her knees under herself. "No!" he shouted, Lunging forward he managed to put himself between Kathryn and the danger only a millisecond before he was struck.

Chakotay's body falling back against her Kathryn's eyes widened as Tom re-aimed the phazer on her. She was sure she was going to die. That in the next instant it would all be over.

And it was.

The door suddenly opened and Tuvok was there, shooting Tom in the back. As he fell the fog left his body and Tuvok used the phazer they had converted to kill it. "Captain?" he asked as he finally turned to her.

"I'm fine," she responded. Looking down her hands splayed over Chakotay's chest, "But he needs help." Tuvok nodded and called for transport, as Chakotay's body vanished and her hands met with only air her breath caught.

Chakotay's heart had stopped; he had died to protect her. It had been an excruciating moment before the Doctor had been able to bring him back. Now Chakotay lay in sickbay, alive, and Kathryn had been ordered to her quarters to take it easy, though she wasn't able to as she was kept apprised of the situation concerning the fog still out side of the ship.

It had all been going well until the ship shook, nearly throwing Kathryn from her desk chair. Slapping her comm badge she tried to hold onto her desk to keep from being thrown to the floor, "Report!" she ordered.

"The fog has begun to attack us," reported Tuvok, "Shields are holding."

"I'm on my way," called out Kathryn as she stood. Tuvok's disagreements fell on deaf ears as she made her way to the bridge. "Report," she called when she finally stepped onto the darkly lit bridge.

"Not much," called out Harry, "They were stationary before they suddenly began to attack."

"B'Elanna," called Kathryn as she moved to her command chair, "What's the status of the phazers?"

"I've almost got it," responded B'Elanna, "I just need a couple more minutes."

"Tuvok?" questioned Kathryn.

"Shields are weakening," reported Tuvok, "Down to thirty-two percent."

"We don't have a couple of minutes," barked Kathryn, "We need those weapons now!"

"I'm trying!" shouted B'Elanna, clearly becoming frustrated.

Clutching the arms of her chair Kathryn held on as the ship continued to buck a jolt. When the familiar lite of phazers being fired lit up the view screen she couldn't help but blink at the flash. As he eyes re-adjusted she could clearly see several foggy form retreating. "When you have an opening get us the hell out of here!" she ordered the helmsmen.


	5. Chapter 5

They hadn't managed to shake all of the foggy masses, a few continuing to trail behind them as they tried to continue their journey. This didn't sit well with Kathryn at all, they had had two incidents with these beings and they both had involved her being held against her will. It had been luck that neither incident had resulted in a loss of life and she wanted to keep it that way. "Any ideas on how to rid ourselves of these entities?" she asked as she looked to the faces around her.

"We could kill them," spoke up Tom.

"It would be best for us to save that as a last resort," spoke up Tuvok.

Turning a dirty look to the Vulcan Tom tilted his head, "I'm sure you'd feel differently about that if one of these things took over your body," he retorted.

"I can assure you," said Tuvok, as calmly as ever, "My view on this would remain the same."

"If we don't destroy them, then what do you purpose we do?" questioned Kathryn, "They haven't seemed to be interested in diplomacy."

"We haven't had a chance to talk to them," spoke up Neelix, "Maybe if we could, we could come to an agreement."

"How are we going to talk with them?" asked B'Elanna, "Let one of them take over yet another crewmen's body?"

"That is out of the question," bit out Kathryn, "I had the opportunity to speak with each of the entities, and neither was interested in anything that wasn't in their interest."

"The minds of the few are not always the same as that of the whole," said Tuvok, "Because the two we had contact with were only interested in themselves does not mean they all feel that way."

"It doesn't mean they don't," put in Tom.

"Alright," sighed Kathryn, "We'll try talking. B'Elanna, work with Seven on a way to communicate with them while they are in their natural forms. Tom, keep us ahead of them. If anyone has any other ideas…" fading off she looked to the people around her, when no one spoke up she gave a nod, "Alright, dismissed."

As everyone left Kathryn took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. She was so tired, though she wouldn't even fathom the idea of sleep until she knew she wouldn't wake to a member of her crew standing over her, their eyes void of life. For whatever reason that first fog had had for taking over Chakotay, it had now spiraled out of anyone's control and she refused to allow the fog following them to gain even a minute amount of control.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Jerking Kathryn looked to the sound of the voice, her eyes taking in the site of her first officer standing before her, "I'll pass," she said softly, "They'll be worth so much more when I'm dead."

"But then you won't be able to tell them to anyone," countered Chakotay.

At this Kathryn couldn't help but to smirk, "That's what will make them worth so much," she said, "Aren't you supposed to be in sickbay?"

Giving a shrug Chakotay sank down into his usual seat, "That's what the Doctor said, but that didn't stop me from leaving," he sighed, "I can't lay there when I know that fog is still following us… Someone has to protect you."

"And what will you do?" questioned Kathryn, "Die for me… again?"

"If I have to," responded Chakotay, "I just… I want you to know that, no matter what… I'll always be here for you."

As he reached out Kathryn pulled back, the hurt in his eyes making her chest tighten, "Chakotay," she breathed, "I know… that you will always protect me. It's just… I don't know how to get past… everything."

"I'm not asking you to get past anything," eased Chakotay, "I'm only asking you to let me protect you."

"Then protect me, but that doesn't mean I have to be alright with your touch…" said Kathryn as firmly as she could manage, "I want to be alright with it Chakotay… I just can't. I still have nightmares about it all and they're so real… each time I wake it's like it all only just happened. I know it wasn't you… only for me… it was."

Hanging his head Chakotay heaved a deep breath, "I know," he said softly, "It will be this way for ever wont it?"

"I don't know," whispered Kathryn, "I hope… one day I won't flinch and pull away when you reach for me, that I'll be completely at ease with you again."

Nodding Chakotay stood, "I hope so too…" he said, "Not to over step any lines, but you look… tired."

"You mean horrible," corrected Kathryn, "I suppose I should at least try to nap while they work."

"Can I walk you?" asked Chakotay. At Kathryn's skeptical look he held up his hands, "I promise I won't touch you."

Eyeing him a moment longer Kathryn finally gave a nod and hefted her larger self from her chair.

The few hours Kathryn had thought it would take for them to find a way for them to communicate with the fog had turned into four weeks before anyone knew it. But they had accomplished what they had set out to do, "We have matched the frequency on the fog to the communication system we have developed," reported Seven.

"There's only one problem," spoke up B'Elanna, "We have to drop our shields for this to work."

"Well that's it then," sighed Tom.

"What do you mean that's it then?" asked Neelix, "We have a way to talk to them."

"If we drop our shields," pointed out Tom, "And if we do that we open ourselves up to attack."

"Or to making new allies," put in Harry.

"Oh, don't delude yourselves; we've killed two of them. They're not going to want to make friends," growled Tom.

"We have to try," spoke up Kathryn, bringing everyone's eyes to her, "When can you be ready?"

"We are prepared," responded Seven.

Giving a nod Kathryn pushed herself up, "Let's do this," she said as she moved toward the bridge. Taking her seat she looked to B'Elanna, "Power it up, I want to be ready before we drop our shields."

"And I'll keep us ahead of them," spoke up Tom from the helm.

"What's to say they can't move faster and have been biding their time, waiting for us to drop our shields?" questioned Harry from ops.

"Don't be so negative," snapped Tom.

"Both of you shut up," ordered Chakotay, "Do what you think will keep us safest."

"Not lowering the shields would be a start," grumped Tom under his breath.

"We're powered up and ready," called out B'Elanna as she sent a glare to Tom.

Taking a slow breath Kathryn gave a nod, "Let's do this, lower shields."

"Shields are down," reported Tuvok.

Sending a look to B'Elanna Kathryn cleared her throat at the nod the received, "This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager, I am attempting to speak with the beings following my ship… am I being heard?"

There was an excruciatingly long silence before a crackle erupted over the communication system, "How have you accomplished this?" questioned an eerily robotic sounding voice.

"We have your frequency," responded Kathryn, "Can you tell me why you are following my ship?"

"You attacked us," came back the voice, "We only want our kind back."

"Captain," called Harry, a worried look on his face, "They're closing in on us."

Sending a look over his shoulder to Harry Tom resisted an urge to smack him, "Should I increase our speed?" he asked.

Before Kathryn could respond red alert sounded, "Captain, we have intruders. Deck seven, four and…" fading off Tuvok drew his phazer as a foggy mass descended from the ceiling in the center of the bridge, "Deck one."

Following suit Chakotay and the other bridge officers drew their phazers, though as Kathryn reached for hers the fog gave a quiver before darting into her in the blink of an eye. As everyone's phazer trained on her Chakotay held his hands up, "Don't fire!" he exclaimed.

Blinking several times Kathryn smiled to him, "Very wise… commander is it?"

One couldn't even begin to expect what it felt like to be trapped, fully conscious in one's own mind. The first thing Kathryn noticed was that she couldn't feel anything and everything sounded far off and muddled. With everything she was she tried to regain ever a macro of control. "What do you want from me?" she screamed. She didn't know if she could be heard, though she hoped the fog controlling her was listening. "Whatever you want… I'll get it for you!"

"I want you to shut up!" snapped an ominous sounding voice, its words reverberating in the darkness.

"I won't," insisted Kathryn, "I will never be quiet, for as long as you're in my body you'll have to listen to me!"

"Keep talking," ground out the voice as a light blinked to life, "And watch what I'll do."

It was like she was looking through her own eyes, only not at the same time. She was no longer on the bridge, now in her ready room with Chakotay and Tuvok. As she watched her hand lashed out, sticking Chakotay across the face. As he dropped to one knee, Tuvok pointed his phazer to her and she was sure he would shoot her until Chakotay's voice rang out. "No!" he ordered as he regained his footing, "Don't hurt her."

"Commander?" questioned Tuvok.

Chakotay didn't have to respond for Kathryn to understand, It wasn't that the beam of energy would do her any long-term damage, but the child she carried would suffer. "Please," she begged, "The others of your kind aren't here. They attacked us, we had to destroy them."

At her words everything suddenly went dark again.

Standing between Tuvok and Kathryn Chakotay took a slow breath, "Whatever you want…"

"Save it," snapped Kathryn, "This… woman has told me you have destroyed my kind. I believe I should destroy all of you."

"They forced us to it!" exclaimed Chakotay, "They attacked us."

"How do I know you do not lie?"

"Ask her, ask the one you control. She was the first to be attacked," explained Chakotay, "Your kind used my body. He attacked her with no provocation."

Turning from them the fog pulled itself back into Kathryn's mind, "Show me your experience," it insisted.

"I don't know how," said Kathryn.

"Remember it," it insisted, "From the beginning."

Doing as she was told Kathryn let the events play out, starting with her first glimpse of it before it had darted into Chakotay. As the ordeal continued to play out in her mind, she could feel an anger that was not her own begin to build up inside of her. When it was all over she became aware that she was moving, "Where are we going?" she questioned.

The only answer she received was the return of her sight. She was moving down a corridor, her eyes straight ahead, making it impossible for her to know just where she was and where she was headed. "I gave you what you wanted," she persisted, "Now leave my body."

"Not until I know," insisted the fog.

"Know what?" questioned Kathryn.

"Whose child you carry" it insisted as it turned into sickbay.

"I can tell you that," insisted Kathryn, "The child is Chakotay's, the man you struck. The man who's body your kind first took control of."

"Captain," greeted the Doctor, "Is there trouble?"

"Whose child is this?" snapped the fog as it motioned to Kathryn's extended abdomen.

At this the Doctor frowned, "Captain? We discussed this… The test confirmed the child is commander Chakotay's."

"Test it again," spat the fog.

"What are you doing?" questioned Kathryn, "Do you think… that one of your kind fathered my child?"

The fog didn't respond as it watched the Doctor move to a panel, Kathryn tried to scream, to shout, only her voice was muted, she couldn't even hear herself. When someone else entered sickbay the fog didn't even flinch, "I have seen how your brother over took the man, he was indeed in the wrong."

"Wrong?" questioned the ensign, "My brother was never wrong."

"He was this time," spat the fog, "He did this to this woman," the fog indicated Kathryn's stomach, "Doctor, what have you found."

"As I have told you…" responded the Doctor, "The child is indeed commander Chakotay's."

Moving forward the fog looked down to the screen the Doctor had been working on, "This is good," it said as it turned back to the ensign, "We will leave these beings. They were only protecting themselves."

"They destroyed my brothers!" insisted the ensign, "Their fate will be that of their victims!"

"They were the victims," insisted the fog, "In this case and the cases of your brothers. We are the hostiles."

"I do not agree!" insisted the ensign as he lunged forward.

There was nothing Kathryn could do as her body was slammed to the floor, the ensign pummeling her in a flurry of fists. Panic erupted inside of her as the fog inside of her began to react, though her condition seemed to hinder it as it attempted to roll out from under the ensign. "Give me control!" shouted Kathryn, "I can control my body!"

In an instant she had her control back, though she could still feel the fog inside of her, seemingly keeping her pain at bay. Pushing out she managed to throw the ensign off balance enough to roll herself away some. As she gained her hands and knees she looked up in time to see the ensign barrel toward her. With only a moment before she was struck again she pushed up to her knees, making it out of the ensign's path.

Turning she watched as Chakotay suddenly ran into sickbay. His eyes were wide as he took in the scene before him. As the ensign turned to come at her again Kathryn could hear the fog shout in her head and she repeated it aloud, "Kill it!" she yelled, startling Chakotay, "The fog says to kill it!"

Before Chakotay could react the ensign collided with her again, knocking her back to the floor. She pushed at him, trying to throw him from her, though when she spotted the long metal tool he held she gave a startled cry only an instant before it was plunged into her chest.

"No!" shouted Chakotay as he stunned the ensign. Rushing forward he dropped to his knees, pushing the ensign from her he looked to the metal sticking from her chest only a moment before he pulled it from her. Her eyes widened only a moment before he pressed his hands down over her wound, "Kathryn… oh god!" he exclaimed.

Her mouth worked but no words would come out, it was becoming so difficult for her to breath and she couldn't even tell anyone, though as the fog left her a horrible scream tore from her throat, the pain that had been held at bay rushing over her.

Dropping down next to her the Doctor scanned her quickly as blood began to bubble up from her mouth. "Her left lung has been punctured, it's filling with blood," he explained.

"Fix it!" gasped out Chakotay.

"I…" fading off the Doctor's brow furrowed, "The baby's heart rate is slowing, I have to get it out if it is to survive."

"Will Kathryn survive long enough?" questioned Chakotay as the Doctor stood, readying for a fetal transport.

"I can't be sure," responded the Doctor. As the words left his mouth Tom and B'Elanna entered sickbay, "Tom," exclaimed the Doctor, "You need to perform a fetal transport, B'Elanna help him!"

"What are you going to do?" questioned Tom even as he prepared himself.

"I'm going to save our captain," said the Doctor as he dropped down next to her.

"On the floor?" questioned B'Elanna.

"No time to move her," bit out the Doctor, "Tom, get the baby out now."

Sinking back Chakotay could only watch as a fury of commotion took place around him. In only moments a baby's cry rang out before a shrill alarm, marking the stop of Kathryn's heart.


	6. Chapter 6 end

The shrill alarm in sickbay continued as Tuvok entered, he seemed to take the scene before him in quickly before leveling his phazer at the fog still hovering over Kathryn. Knowing the Vulcan's intention Chakotay leapt to his feet, "No!" he shouted, "It didn't do this. That fog is still in the ensign."

Giving a nod Tuvok lowered his phazer before moving to the ensign. Dragging the limp body over next to an empty bio bed he backed away, "Computer, initiate force field Alpha pie zeta, around bio bed two," he ordered.

Turning to the fog Chakotay took a step forward, "Please, if you can understand me, please help her," he pleaded.

As though it had understood him the fog darted toward him before it reversed its path, disappearing back into Kathryn. Only moments after the alarm stopped and the Doctor looked confused, "Her heart's beating, but… it shouldn't be," he said.

"No matter the reason, she's alive!" exclaimed Chakotay, "Use this time to fix the damage. We don't know how long the fog can help."

Tightening his lips the Doctor did as Chakotay told him, closing the hole in Kathryn's chest before he moved her to bio bed one with Tom's help, so he could repair the damage to her lung.

Inside of herself Kathryn found herself back in the darkness, "What's happening?" she questioned.

"Your body was dying," responded the fog.

"Was?" questioned Kathryn.

"I am helping to save you," answered the fog.

"But why?" asked Kathryn, "Why would you save me?"

"Your Chakotay asked me to," answered the fog, "His anguish was unbearable. For my kind the unrequitable love he holds for you is worth more than you will ever know."

This gave Kathryn pause before she finally gave a faint whisper, "I must thank you… for my life."

"Do not thank me yet. First, I want you to think of your attack."

"You were there, you…"

"No, your first attack," clarified the fog.

"But you know what happened, I've showed you."

"I know," eased the fog, "I have one last gift for you before I go. My kind caused you this pain, physical and emotional. It is my job to right those wrongs."

With no more words Kathryn began to remember from the beginning.

It had seemed as though she had been lost in the darkness for years, though as she opened her eyes Kathryn took a sharp breath. When a hand suddenly touched her shoulder she looked to her side to find Chakotay standing next to her, his eyes shining in pure, untainted love and relief, "You're back," he whispered.

"I never left," corrected Kathryn breathily, reaching up she placed her hand over his and frowned when he took his away.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" he stuttered out, "I know how you feel about me touching you."

At this Kathryn reached out and took his hand into hers, "Felt," she corrected, "It's a long story and I promise to tell you everything, only, for now, don't let go."

Daring to smile some Chakotay nodded before he looked to Kathryn's other side, "I won't, though you may want to," he said lightly.

Giving a frown Kathryn followed his gaze to B'Elanna standing on her other side, holding a tiny bundle in her arms, "Would you like to hold her?" asked B'Elanna softly.

"Her?" questioned Kathryn.

Giving a nod B'Elanna smiled, "You have a daughter."

Tears appeared and over flowed in Kathryn's eyes as she gave a nod. Chakotay allowed her to pull her hand from his as she reached for their daughter, a grin spreading across his face, "She's been waiting to see you… awake that is," he said.

As the tiny nearly weightless bundle was placed in her arms Kathryn took a shuddering breath, "I didn't think I would get to experience this…" she breathed, "I thought I was dead… But now, oh god, she's so beautiful."

"She looks just like you," said Chakotay as he took in the scene before him, mother and daughter, together at last, "Do you know what you'll name her?"

"Lila Marie," said Kathryn without hesitation.

"It's perfect," said Chakotay, "Lil' Lila Marie… she'll be hard pressed to ever hear no in her life."

Smiling Kathryn nodded before her eyes began to droop. Noticing this B'Elanna looked to Chakotay, "I think the captain needs some more rest to regain her strength," she said softly.

"No," breathed Kathryn, "I don't want to sleep; I don't want to miss a moment with this precious little gift."

"I assure you, she'll be right here waiting for you when you wake," said Chakotay.

Looking to him Kathryn swallowed, "And you? Will you be here waiting for me?" she asked.

"For the rest of my life," assured Chakotay.

A week later Kathryn found herself sitting in her quarters holding her tiny daughter, gazing into her deep brown eyes she sighed in contentment, ready to sit there the entire day until her door chime sounded. Breaking eyes contact she looked up and sighed, "Come."

Entering Kathryn's quarters Chakotay gave a smile, "Am I interrupting?" he asked as he crossed to the couch.

"Only a little," said Kathryn with a wisp of a smile, "What brings you here?"

"I believe someone promised to tell me what happened to change said someone's view on my touch," said Chakotay as he took a seat, and I can't help myself, that little girl there is very addictive."

"Would you like to hold her?" asked Kathryn as she shifted Lila toward him.

"Of course," accepted Chakotay, "But don't think she can distract me completely."

"I would never think that," agreed Kathryn, "Now, my… change of heart, you could say, was a gift from the fog my perceptions of the attacks were altered…"

"Altered?"

"Now when the nightmare comes… it's not you, but a foggy figure," explained Kathryn, "Somehow the fog… it made it so I could see the true evil hurting me and not… not my best friend. I don't think I could ever thank her enough."

"Her," questioned Chakotay.

"Yes, her," responded Kathryn, "I never got to tell her thank you. But I will never forget how she saved my life and healed the pain I felt toward you… her name was Lila…"

Looking up Chakotay frowned, "Lila? You named her after a fog?"

Kathryn shrugged, "If it wasn't for the fog she wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be alive to enjoy every minute with her… so I think it's fitting if anything."

Quiet a moment Chakotay finally nodded, "I suppose… but I have to say it's a bit unsettling with me."

Standing Kathryn sat next to him, looking down on Lila, "How about you just think of it this way… Lila saved my life, I was dead, gone from this place and I wouldn't have come back if it had not been for her," at Chakotay's questionable look she sighed, "Okay, then… How about we simply associate the name with this little one? She's all that really matters."

"I'll agree with that, but for me she matters only as much as you do… I don't know what I would do without my best friend."

With a nod Kathryn smiled as they both looked down to their daughter. Their lives would never be simple, though as long as they remained friends, if nothing else, they would be able to make it through anything.

FIN

A/N: So they didn't get together, but at least they are still friends and everyone is alive and well. If you have a question about the fog in the ensign, let me assure you it vacated the young man's body and was destroyed. Voyager never encountered the fog again and their journey back to the alpha quadrant went as smooth as anyone could expect for our dear crew. Hope you enjoyed the read and I hope I didn't make you mad or have you on the edge of your seats too long with the chapter five cliffhanger.

Comments are the best thing and I hope you will leave on and let me know what you think. Compliments are always welcomed and Criticism in tolerated lol!


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